Why Emotional Chaos Is Destroying Your Purpose

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Do you find yourself easily overwhelmed? Constantly on edge? Triggered by little things like being cut off or interrupted?

Do you constantly find yourself reliving the past, replaying negative thought patterns that tell you you're not good enough or that everyone is out to take advantage of you, or maybe you let someone else's judgments and their own insecurities be the voice in your head instead of God’s promises?

These are just some of the emotionally chaotic scenarios that I let rule my life at one point. I can think of at least 100 more inner-work battles I had to overcome and release on my walk with God.

The good news is that I have made progress beyond my wildest dreams in overcoming the emotional chaos that had kept me stuck since giving my life to Christ; the even better news is what I am learning and can now share with others.

I by no means have arrived, but I do realize that God designed us to go through challenges and to be able to overcome them and have dominion and authority over our lives, and he tells us exactly how to do this in Genesis 1:28

“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:28)

The focus of this verse will be the word: subdue, which means the act of bringing something under control.

You cannot have dominion and authority over anything outside of you until you have dominion and authority over what is happening on the inside of you.

So if you struggle with any of the emotional chaos I mentioned earlier in the article, or something similar, I am going to tell you exactly what actions you need to take to start subduing the chaos within your internal world and start living out that purpose in your external world.

Dominion Audit

Write down all the important areas in your life: Family, faith, finances, work/business, time, lazier, reading, fitness, cooking, marriage, relationships (These categories can be as big or as small as you want them to be), but assign a score on a scale of 1–10 on how happy you are in each one of these areas.

Then, for anything that is an eight or below, I want you to write out all the reasons and excuses as to why you tell yourself you don't have happiness in that area of your life.

Then I want you to notice if there are any themes.

Chances are, you will see a pattern and a common denominator as to why you aren't completely happy with that area of your life.

I don't want to spoil the exercise, but no one is in control of your life, your happiness, your time, and your priorities except for you, so please don’t miss the fact that YOU are likely the common denominator.

That was the hard reality that I had to accept while doing this exercise and not furthering my business, when I absolutely could have been.

It was always someone else’s fault. I had kids, a husband, a good-paying job, previous commitments, and all kinds of other things that were completely within my control to adjust; I just didn’t want to admit it.

The only way to effectively do this exercise, reduce overwhelm and emotional chaos, and regain control over your life is to be honest with yourself about where you are.

Name it, Claim it, Reframe it.

When you have your list, name the common theme or emotions that you are noticing at the top of each one of your lists that is keeping you from having dominion over that area of your life and stopping it from being an eight or better.

Maybe it's fear, anxiety, overwhelm, comparison, or insecurity. Name it, whatever it is, no one is going to see this.

Next, claim it and accept it. So many of us stay trapped in our minds and paralyzed with inaction for so long because we don’t want to examine ourselves or ask God what the problem is, and why can't we live a blissful life?

Be honest and transparent with yourself and own that you're overwhelmed and you don’t know which way is up, own the fact that you are insecure about your looks or a personality trait, own the fact that you are constantly comparing yourself to others and that’s why you can’t figure out what you were created for and who you were sent to help.

I am telling you this because I had to own all these “lovely” emotions and then some.

Last Reframe it. Start asking yourself better questions.

If you are fearful, ask yourself, "Whose opinions over my life are more important than God’s and my own? Who am I making a God over my life and giving my power away to?

If you are anxious, ask yourself, “Is this really aligned with what God wants for me in my life? If so, why am I feeling anxiety over it, because God is not a God of anxiety?

If you are overwhelmed, ask yourself, “What am I carrying or trying to take on that God didn’t assign to me?”

If you are insecure and comparing yourself to others, ask yourself, “Why don’t I believe I am good enough? God didn’t create me to be like that person, so why would I compare myself to someone who has their own assignment, their own goals, and their own look?”

If they have traits you are inspired by, like confidence, ask yourself better questions, like, "What is one way I can improve my confidence today?"

Could I style my hair differently? Record a short video and post it without overthinking it? Could I go on a solo date and do something fun and out of my comfort zone like, Ariel yoga?

When you start to reframe your internal dialog, you subdue the negative thoughts that keep popping up and diverting your attention from God’s calling for your life.

I leave you with this: your emotions flow from what you focus on. If you are constantly focused on lack, resistance, worst-case scenarios, traumatic past events, then the only emotional states you can expect are sadness, depression, anxiety, and overwhelm.

However, if you focus on all the abundance you have around you, like the fact that you woke up today, were likely able to feed yourself and have shelter last night, and subdue any negative thoughts and emotions that try to creep in and divert your attention from all the good in your life. You will have no choice but to live out God’s command and original intent for our lives, which is to be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth, subdue anything that gets in your way, and have dominion over everything you do and every area of your life.